Transcription

Watch the video on YouTube

“Why is everything so messed up?” That is the underlying question we come away with when we watch the news. How can we get out of the pattern of negativity and change our reactions and interactions to something more positive?

I believe awareness of our programmed perceptions is the answer. I’ll give you an example. My parents used to work hard to make ends meet. Although we always had food and a clean, comfortable home, I remember hearing, “We can’t afford that.” Or, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” And of course, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” I grew up believing that money is hard to come by and I started working a part-time job when I was 15 years old. I put at least half of the money I earned into a savings account, but it didn’t add up to much. It did add to the down payment on our first home, but then I was back down to zero in my savings account.

Over the years, I decided I wanted to be financially successful, so I looked for ideas from the experts. I found a list of ten habits of financially successful people, according to J.D. Roth.

These ten habits include:

1. Being around positive people
2. They do not consider failure to be the end
3. They are great time managers
4. They ignore the opinions of others
5. They know where they are headed
6. They place their energy into the “big wins”
7. They don’t take the easy way out
8. They don’t wait around for good luck
9. They know that only they are accountable
10. They do not fear change

This month, I’m focusing my attention on the last habit: they do not fear change. I’m also honing in on the word habit. Aristotle said, “As it is not one swallow or a fine day that makes a spring, so it is not one day or a short time that makes a man blessed and happy.” Will Durant later interpreted this statement as “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” In short, baby steps will get me to my goal, so I shouldn’t expect to take a great leap one day and do nothing afterward. I need to practice daily those habits that move me toward my best self. I need to keep finding ways to save, not spend, and earn a little every day and eventually, it will all add up.

“As it is not one swallow or a fine day that makes a spring, so it is not one day or a short time that makes a man blessed and happy.” –Aristotle

That makes sense financially, but how do I take baby steps to instill the habit of not fearing change?

I think the first baby step is to recognize that events and situations are neither good nor bad. They are neutral. What makes something good or bad is my perception of it. The thoughts I think about it. For instance, if it is a rainy day when I get up in the morning, that is a totally neutral weather event. I can decide that the rain is disrupting my daily activities, and that makes rain bad. Or, I can decide that rain causes growth and clears the air and be happy and grateful for it. It’s up to me what I choose to think about the rain or whatever else is happening in my life.

Number seven on that list of habits is “They don’t take the easy way out.”

It’s easy to have an instant reaction to situations that arise. We usually react in the same way that our parents did without really thinking about it. But if I bring awareness to my reaction and observe how it makes me feel when I react that way, then I can create the space and presence of mind to change that reaction. For example, when I was a child, I felt shame and anxiety if somebody corrected my behavior or judged me. Now that I am an adult and putting my ideas into videos and blogs like this and sharing them with the world, I have opened myself up to negative people on the internet who criticize me. I could react with the same shame and anxiety as I felt when I was a child by thinking, “They don’t like me. I must have done something wrong.” Or I can change how I react by the way I perceive their comments. If somebody says something negative, I can choose to think, “They must be having a bad day.” Or, “The words I used must have triggered a difficult reaction for them.”

Thinking those thoughts will change the feelings of shame and anxiety to compassion. Then I can respond in a positive and loving manner and turn what could have been a negative interaction into a positive one.

Of course, this takes practice. Honestly, when I receive a comment that seems negative, I will wait a day or two to respond so I can allow myself space and time to consider a helpful reply instead of a snarky reaction. Practicing these measured responses helps me to create habit number 4, they ignore the opinions of others.

Let’s look at habit number 10 again: they do not fear change. Making changes to my thoughts and perceptions involves letting go of programmed reactions and opening my mind to new possibilities. Instead of behaving as I did when I was a child, I choose to be a compassionate adult and create positive, helpful conversations. I do not fear letting go of old beliefs. I look for ways to improve interactions and relationships. This habit will bring me a happier, more productive life, and that is one step in the process of becoming a financially successful person.

Having the courage to make life changes comes from taking small steps, and it starts with becoming aware of our programmed reactions and perceptions. Take a small step today and think of one difficult situation in your life that could be improved if you thought differently about it. Remember that excellence is achieved through small steps taken every day.

You can get my free downloadable eBook, The Courage to Change, using this link. In this eBook, you’ll discover how you can reduce the fear that holds you back, open up to new experiences, enjoy the journey to your best life and become enthusiastic about your future.

#success #habits #change

Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shelley-carney/support